Lots of snow this time of year. Sometimes not enough to actually stop you from going places, just enough to make it difficult. I haven't had dance for two nights now, maybe I won't have school tomorrow *fingers crossed*. You always have this hope that tomorrow could be a better day, that if fate just gives you the time, you can fix everything. I just read a book called
The Bean Trees, the main character mentions something about how living in a hilly area gives you a different attitude. You can always suppose that there is something better waiting just around the next bend. Even if you've seen whats behind that hill and it isn't anything special, something in your brain always knows that you're waiting to see what's there, maybe it's different from the last time you saw it. This is actually a very common feeling in all humans, we are always hoping for better things to come, even if we know exactly what is going to happen. In a way, expecting something different to happen even when you do the same thing is a terrible way to get things done. But in this world that we live in, sometimes that crazy optimism is all we have. It's what gets us through the day. I always go through the day making believe that my house isn't a total mess and that I won't argue with my mother, but I don't actually do anything to change either of those when they aren't what I thought they were. If you can't get a grasp on what I'm trying to convey, just think about how when you open the door to a room, and it's dark so you reach over to flip the light switch, but in that short amount of time that you are reaching, your brain is whirring, trying to picture what it will look like, it goes through what you remember it looking like, what you want it to look like and makes a picture. When you finally turn of the light switch, it's completely different from what the picture was. Maybe you sigh, because it's worse, or maybe you smile, because it's way better that what you remember. One of our greatest strengths is our mind's ability to block out painful or troubling memories, so that we can gather the strength to go on and try again. and again, and again....
